Battling the Busy-Man

As I get older, I’m learning that if I don’t intentionally prioritize things, my subconcious will do it for me. When I say, “I don’t have time for that”, what I’m really saying is, “Something else has a higher priority than that.”

Right now, my highest priority is a quiet life.

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before.
1 Thessalonians 4:11 NLT

I made this my top priority this past December, while we were in Florida; I was realizing just how burnt out I’d become. So upon our return in January, I made changes to ensure a quiet life. Oddly enough, life has a lot to throw at me to equally ensure it doesn’t happen! I’m amazed at how naturally my ‘yeses’ come out and how deliberate I have to be if a ‘no’ is going to come out.

I really, really hate being busy. I’ve hated it for a long time, but when I saw this verse hanging up at my mom’s house, it was like a heavy burden was lifted— I no longer felt guilty for wanting a quiet life!  And it gave me the sovereign permission I needed to start simplifying. Fewer commitments, fewer engagements, less busyness.

If you’re like I was, feeling busy and burnt out, here’s 7 tips I’ve picked up so far, in my quest for a quieter life. :)

1. There are too many good things out there for me to dip into a little of everything.
2. God created me with a unique combination of temperament, abilities, stamina and desires. He doesn’t waste anything and neither should I. It takes time to find the thing I can best serve at; serving in little things while I work it out is better than being a bump on the log while I work it out. I can start with serving the people I share a house with, at the very least. (Doing a chore that isn’t mine, spending extra-quality time with someone instead of mindlessly entertaining myself, etc.) This helps cultivate a servant’s heart (something I really struggle with, for a variety of reasons) so that, when I *do* figure out what I’m cut out for, I’ll have a headstart in having a willing heart. ;)
3. It’s okay for me to say no to lots of things! It’s not okay for me to say no to everything.
4. My blog, friends, husband and family are FABULOUS sounding boards for figuring out what needs to get cut, what my talents are, what my weaknesses are and how all those things play into or against leading a quiet life.
5. Leading a ‘quiet life’, I’m finding, is not dull and it’s not sitting around doing nothing! It’s using my God-given Combination of Everything as efficiently and productively as possible. There’s still emotional stress to my day; there’s still work to be done. But I’m fulfilled at the end of the day, I’m not burnt out, I’m not frantic.
6. The enemy will fight this endeavor of mine. For starters, his top priority is rebellion against God and His ways. But I’m also figuring out that ‘busyness’ is one of his most effective tactics for stifling spiritual growth. ‘Distractedness’ could be another word for it. But being aware that he’s trying to sabotage me is half the battle and renews my resolve to be intentional about how I spend my time.
7. There are seasons of God sowing into our lives and seasons of harvest. The sowing times are the hardest for me; they involve a lot of…nothing. At least on the outside. But it’s also a resting time, a time to take it easy, savor the moments and rest. I’m slowly learning not to be afraid of resting time or feel guilty for it. It’s productive in its own way, although visible results are slow in coming.

Ironically, it’s hard work to have a quiet life. But it’s so worth it…

a revelation of sorts.

there is a profound difference in the way i put myself out there when i’m looking for affirmation from other people versus the way i put myself out there when i’m thoroughly immersed in what God thinks of me. one is tension-filled, anxiety-causing and tinted with neediness; the other is courageous, freeing and honest.

this is nothing new to a lot of people and it’s not so much ‘new’ for me as it is ‘coming to the surface’, in plainer view, so-to-speak.

i’m still hashing out how to stay immersed in God’s thoughts toward me, rather than being absorbed in what other people think of me. (what an interesting comparison! one is immersion, the other is absorption; one is being surrounded by, the other is being sucked into; one is gain, the other is loss. how fitting.)

so how do you resist the flesh-ridden impulse to be absorbed by other people’s opinions? and what helps you be more preoccupied with how God feels about you?

do you also have a tendency to project other people’s opinions onto God, as though they’re His opinions too, when you’re caught up in what others think? i do that. it makes me miserable.

zephaniah 3:17 is my current defense against needing affirmation from other people. incidentally, it also helps me be more preoccupied with what God thinks. it’s a double-whammy!

share some other double-whammy scriptures, please. :)

p.s. i recognize that walking with our incredible Creator is not all about us; certainly, praising Him and meditating on His glorious character would go a long way toward taking our thoughts off others’ opinions of us. there is definitely an element of pridefulness that plays into our tendency to seek affirmation from people. however, there is also an element of simply being created to love and be loved and the impact that a sinful nature will have on that part of us. this post is meant to explore the latter and not the former. in other words, we were created to be loved by God. how best do we prevent that from being twisted by our fallen nature into a search for “extra-curricular affirmation”, if you will? :) a verse like zephaniah 3:17 helps to re-orient our need to be loved toward the Source that will actually satisfy. i’m looking for more of that.

p.p.s. that was supposed to pe a brief clarification of this post. but it wasn’t. so here’s a brief clarification of the p.s. instead. :D

In No Uncertain Terms: Part I

this is how the world falls over.

first, someone does something bad. then, someone else calls it ‘good’. so other people do it too, because it’s ‘good’. eventually, someone comes along and says, “this is not good. this is bad.” people take sides. there is lots of fighting. then someone says, “fighting is bad. we should stop fighting.” everyone stops fighting but some people are still doing bad. they do bad for a long time. the other people, who said it wasn’t good, start to wonder if maybe it’s not THAT bad…

more people start doing the bad thing. occasionally, someone pipes up that it’s not good, but then someone else says, “fighting is worse. and what do you know anyway? stop judging me.”

over time, there are more people doing bad than there are people doing good. so bad starts to look good and good starts to look bad.

and then the world falls over.
—
the world is slowly falling over because the people doing good have stopped talking and the people doing bad never listened anyway.

so who’s fault will it be when the world falls over?

everyone’s. including yours and mine. †

As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one. Romans 3:10

not everything has to be profound. or capitalized, for that matter.

sometimes i go days without writing here but i don’t mind. i figure, scarcity equals effectiveness. which is actually only true some times about some things and not necessarily true right now about this blog. but i digress. which is something i’m good at doing.

so i go days. and lately, i’ve been chewing on a post about holiness. but something just hit me—either i called this blog by the wrong name, or i forgot why i started it. possibly, it’s both. so now it’s time to remember.

i wanted to write about being a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend. i wanted to write about all of these things with the underlying current being that i am His. i’m His child, His instrument (think violin), His friend.

it seems as though, at some point, i climbed up onto a high-horse and started prancing around my made-up arena with spiritual insights and profundities. that’s not to say none of this is inspired or true; rather, i’ve lost sight of who i am and what i’m doing here. and maybe this is the root of my real-life head problems—i think too much; i never just BE. and come to think of it, i think i said something about that in my very first post…or i meant to.

digressing again. 6_6

so the point. because i did have one…*rummages* who i am and what i’m doing here. right.

sometimes it clarifies a thing to focus on the inverse of it. so let’s start with who i’m not and see where it takes us.

i’m not always right.
i’m not a guru—of any kind.
i’m not responsible for the salvation of the world.
i’m not really all that profound, by myself. it’s really the God-factor that brings that to the table.
i’m not put together or composed or even all that dignified.

what i AM is a mess. all the time, actually. and it’s silly, really, to try to keep this blog ‘clean’ and ‘presentable’. this was supposed to be a place for me to BE. period. not a place for me to just be _________. [profound, spiritual, insightful, etc]

pride has a nasty way of cramming you into boxes. little ones. cramped ones.

i’ve done it before and now i’m doing it again—i’m letting myself out of all my self-imposed boxes (and a few that were not self-imposed). you know, i do this regularly enough, i should celebrate it annually. :P

so here i am. this is me stepping out of the box. i won’t always be profound. but may i always be authentic. and most importantly, may i always glorify my God. because, after all, i am His. i’ll take that over being profound every. time.

to be continued…

A Letter To My Daughter

Thanks to Penzu‘s “looking glass” feature, I found this letter in my inbox this morning—it’s one of a few that I’ve written in an online journal that I hope to print out and gift to my daughter someday. This letter was written exactly a year ago and, ironically, it was just the encouragment I needed this morning…
___

april 3, 2011

dear sweet daughter,

by satan’s existence, everything is ruined. by Jesus’ life, everything is redeemed. by God’s power, everything has purpose – even the ruining itself.

“God has to take care of us so we don’t get pukes!” oh, my heart… you said those words to me, darling girl, after the seemingly-hundredth time you puked. it was a nasty bug, a violent one. my answer to you was this: “God never allows something bad to happen to you if it cannot later be turned into good.” and in my head, i thought, ‘that is the hardest truth to swallow. but swallow it good and whole because it will be your anchor in life.’

sometimes — perhaps even often — God allows terrible things to happen. if you have heard of God’s goodness, you will wonder why He allows them. but if you are familiar with His goodness — intimately, personally — you will also trust and hope, in spite of the stack of evidence that the devil brings to the table. our stack of evidence — of God’s goodness and love and purpose — often seems smaller compared to the devil’s. but it’s important to know that the devil’s evidence is made up of half-truths and lies (primarily lies). our evidence is 100% truth, solid and gold. if you could pick up your stack in one hand and the devil’s in the other, you would fall over from the weight of yours and the devil’s would flutter away in the wind.

a fanciful metaphor, perhaps, but i daresay an accurate one.

i hope and pray — i beg God — to allow that i leave a legacy of CONFIDENCE, TRUST, and JOY for you and your brother. my whole life (up to age 30 anyway) has been wrought with fear, doubt, and depression. i took a stand against the devil several weeks ago and said NO MORE, I MEAN IT!!! and mean it, i have; mean it, i will. we are children of the King and we have authority over the devil and rights to the power of God. joy is our inheritance and the devil is a cunning thief. if you are not experiencing joy in this moment, the devil has just robbed you.

be vigilant! never blame God for the devil’s work. when God allows the devil TO work, it is because He will triumph yet again over him by turning it to good. and we haven’t even seen the half of it. no ma’am. just you wait. one day…

until then, work to desire God. He is everything for us, and don’t let “reason” convince you otherwise. He is strength, He is comfort, He is joy, He is sustenance, He is refreshing, He is beautiful, He is satisfying, He is a friend of the best kind, He is our Creator.

i love you, darling precious little girl. may God instill in your heart from THE MOMENT I WRITE THIS that He is GOOD, TRUSTWORTHY, and everything else that i am only scratching the surface of at age 30. ♥

How To Save A Life

I had to re-pot a plant for my mom today. It was very root-bound, producing far more plant than the poor pot could handle. I ended up with two plants, instead of one. It made me think of people, and how often we over-cram our lives full of things that are inherently good and beneficial but end up stifling our growth. How much plant can one pot hold? It can hold a lot, actually, but it shouldn’t, because it’s not good for the plant. How many commitments can one life hold? I certainly know from experience that a life can hold quite a few commitments — but I also know how destructive it can be when there’s too much going on. Too many people, too many hobbies, too many obligations, too many distractions. Too many roots, not enough soil. Something is going to die. What’s dying in your life because you have too much going on? Are there things you can delegate to a new pot?

While I was sifting the dirt for roots and laying aside the ones that could be re-planted, my four-year-old daughter took note of what I was doing. She was horrified. “Mommy! Why are you ruining Gramma’s plant??” I couldn’t help but smile. It really did look like I was ruining Gramma’s plant. How often has it looked like God is ruining my life? But is that in keeping with what I know His character to be? If my daughter had taken the time to reason it out, even at age four, she probably could have figured out that it was out of character for me to ruin something that belonged to someone else. In reality, I was doing the exact opposite; I was bringing freedom to the healthy parts of the plant and sifting the dead parts out. Sometimes it feels like God is ruining my life when really, He’s just freeing me up. Taking out the dead stuff and leaving the healthy stuff behind to grow and spread out a little bit. Fresh air, spacious soil. It’s a painful process but a soul feels so much better — freer — when it’s over.

I was tempted to rush, because I wanted to see the finished product. Not surprisingly, I often try to rush God, too. “Let’s go! I want to be finished already! Process is boring, hard, tedious, painful, TOO LONG.” I’m thankful that God isn’t manipulated by my foolish desires and fleshly impatience. He takes exactly the amount of time that’s needed to properly sift, patiently dig, productively plant.

When I was done, I had a good-sized pile of dirt, roots, and broken stems. My original plan was to put all of it in the trash. But the process of sifting had revealed that there were a lot of root systems still capable of producing sprouts. I couldn’t bear to throw them in the garbage, but there was no room in the pots. So I went outside and found a nice patch of grass out of the way of mowing paths and spread it all out, hopeful that it would sprout in warmer weather. It reminds me of something my aunt told me once, during a particularly rough time in my life: “God wastes nothing.” Not the extra soil, not the myriad roots, not the broken stems. He uses all of it somewhere, often out of my sight and unbeknownst to me, always to His glory and for our good.

Today, I discovered another way that I take after my Father — I like to garden! He’s profoundly better at it, but that’s a good thing. It provides just the motivation that this stubborn and rebellious child needs to ask God to kneel in the dirt with her. Of course He’s delighted to, on one condition — do I trust Him enough to do what He says, even if it doesn’t make sense? Today…I do.

And so the digging begins.

7 Comforting Truths For The Christ-follower

These are some truths that God has been bringing to light over the last few days. They have been really encouraging to me so I wanted to share them.*

1. I’ve been a child of God for a long time. I’ve been a dedicated Christ-follower for a couple of years. I will never “arrive”! No matter how long I do this life with God, I will never completely understand Him. I will still get confused. I will still feel lost sometimes. I will definitely screw up. It’s okay. God knows that I am dust; His grace is sufficient for me; He *will* finish the good work in me that He started. :)

2. Jesus has given me permission to badger Him. (Luke 18) So I don’t need to feel guilty when I pray about that one thing AGAIN. In fact, persistence is a good thing! God wants to know the desires of my heart and He is a refuge for me. I am to present all of my requests with thanksgiving but there is no limit to how many times I am allowed to present my requests! God wants me to approach His throne with courage and boldness. He is a loving Father who loves to give good gifts to His children.

3. If I am not getting what I’m asking for, is it because God isn’t good or is it because what I’m asking for is not good for me? ;) This question has changed the way I approach prayer. I ask Him for everything and then rest in the knowledge that, if I don’t receive it, it is because it wasn’t good for me. This doesn’t mean I always love the answer He gives me; for example, I am badgering Him to provide a job for my husband and a house for us to live in. I am not loving that thus far, He has said ‘no’. But I know He is GOOD—there is GOOD wrapped up in the situation I am not loving and one day, I will see it and be grateful for it!

4. The Christian life is not for ME to live. It is for God to live through me, when I surrender to Him and allow Him to fill me with His Holy Spirit! I need to stop spinning my wheels trying to accomplish “good things” and instead, ask Him to fill me with His power and live His life through me. He gives me grace and strength for each moment if I remember to receive it! Right now, the only thing on my “Christian To-Do List” is: Remember to receive God’s power moment by moment! Staying aware of this keeps me from losing my temper with my children, husband, or malfunctioning technology. ;) It keeps me from panicking when a rug gets pulled out from under my feet. It keeps me MOMENT-oriented, instead of “overwhelming Big Picture”-oriented.

5. I don’t know what God is up to. AND IT’S OKAY. I don’t NEED to know! I need to live! To pray! To rejoice! This is the hardest one to get through my head. I don’t need to know what God is up to. I don’t need to figure it out.

6. I am weak. Weak, weak, weak. It’s okay to be weak. God’s strength is made perfect because of my weakness. I need to STOP trying to buck up! Stop trying to buckle down! GOD is the one working—in and through me. I need to sit back, be weak, and glory in His strength, grace, and mercy. It’s never about me!

7. This too shall pass. No, it really will. If things are tough right now, they *will* get easy again. If things are easy right now, they *will* get tough again. And when one thing finally starts coming together, something else will start to fall apart. BUT IT’S OKAY!!! I can be at rest, I can be joy-filled regardless of my circumstances. It’s a moment-by-moment process. The Christian life is not a gas tank that gets filled up all at once and then gradually used up. The Christian life is a lung, that gets filled up and emptied *each* moment. BREATHE. Trust. Believe that He is good, He is capable, He is working. And, He is smiling. :) God smiles at me. God is smiling at me. God is smiling at you.

* If there is anything here that you would like scriptural back-up for, please let me know. Almost every sentence is based on an actual scripture that God has shown me recently. I was going to include the references as I typed but it was going to be very cluttered so I’m including this disclaimer instead. ;)