Thanks to Penzu‘s “looking glass” feature, I found this letter in my inbox this morning—it’s one of a few that I’ve written in an online journal that I hope to print out and gift to my daughter someday. This letter was written exactly a year ago and, ironically, it was just the encouragment I needed this morning…
april 3, 2011
dear sweet daughter,
by satan’s existence, everything is ruined. by Jesus’ life, everything is redeemed. by God’s power, everything has purpose – even the ruining itself.
“God has to take care of us so we don’t get pukes!” oh, my heart… you said those words to me, darling girl, after the seemingly-hundredth time you puked. it was a nasty bug, a violent one. my answer to you was this: “God never allows something bad to happen to you if it cannot later be turned into good.” and in my head, i thought, ‘that is the hardest truth to swallow. but swallow it good and whole because it will be your anchor in life.’
sometimes — perhaps even often — God allows terrible things to happen. if you have heard of God’s goodness, you will wonder why He allows them. but if you are familiar with His goodness — intimately, personally — you will also trust and hope, in spite of the stack of evidence that the devil brings to the table. our stack of evidence — of God’s goodness and love and purpose — often seems smaller compared to the devil’s. but it’s important to know that the devil’s evidence is made up of half-truths and lies (primarily lies). our evidence is 100% truth, solid and gold. if you could pick up your stack in one hand and the devil’s in the other, you would fall over from the weight of yours and the devil’s would flutter away in the wind.
a fanciful metaphor, perhaps, but i daresay an accurate one.
i hope and pray — i beg God — to allow that i leave a legacy of CONFIDENCE, TRUST, and JOY for you and your brother. my whole life (up to age 30 anyway) has been wrought with fear, doubt, and depression. i took a stand against the devil several weeks ago and said NO MORE, I MEAN IT!!! and mean it, i have; mean it, i will. we are children of the King and we have authority over the devil and rights to the power of God. joy is our inheritance and the devil is a cunning thief. if you are not experiencing joy in this moment, the devil has just robbed you.
be vigilant! never blame God for the devil’s work. when God allows the devil TO work, it is because He will triumph yet again over him by turning it to good. and we haven’t even seen the half of it. no ma’am. just you wait. one day…
until then, work to desire God. He is everything for us, and don’t let “reason” convince you otherwise. He is strength, He is comfort, He is joy, He is sustenance, He is refreshing, He is beautiful, He is satisfying, He is a friend of the best kind, He is our Creator.
i love you, darling precious little girl. may God instill in your heart from THE MOMENT I WRITE THIS that He is GOOD, TRUSTWORTHY, and everything else that i am only scratching the surface of at age 30. ♥