1. If the person can’t see you, it’s okay to talk trash about them. In a public setting, this works best from under a table or around the corner.
2. Real names are not required.
3. If someone puts something out there, it’s up for grabs. You can comment on anything and everything, even if it’s a “private” side conversation on someone’s Facebook status.
4. Nobody cares about your personal opinion but everyone thinks you care about theirs.
4a. Hiding behind a computer screen is free license to propagate your pet agenda.
4b. Propogating your pet agenda in a public setting makes you an extremist.
5. Cool people “retweet” but being retweeted doesn’t necessarily mean you’re cool. It can definitely mean you said something reeeally stupid.
6. Everything is a contest. It’s imperative to your social standing that you constantly tag people in your status updates while listing all the cool stuff you did with them and/or how much fun you’re having with them. The last person to post a status like this is a rotten egg who has no friends. Unless you’re like me and you rebel against social trends – then you’re just a rotten egg and people who aren’t your friends don’t like you.
7. “Social networking” is just a fancy term for “I wanna be all up in yo biz.” “Friendship” is just a fancy term for “I want you all up in my biz.” Generally speaking, social networking and friendship don’t happen in the same place.
Share what social media has taught you! If you tend to go on like I do, limit your “lessons” to 7, too. ;)