sometimes i go days without writing here but i don’t mind. i figure, scarcity equals effectiveness. which is actually only true some times about some things and not necessarily true right now about this blog. but i digress. which is something i’m good at doing.
so i go days. and lately, i’ve been chewing on a post about holiness. but something just hit me—either i called this blog by the wrong name, or i forgot why i started it. possibly, it’s both. so now it’s time to remember.
i wanted to write about being a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend. i wanted to write about all of these things with the underlying current being that i am His. i’m His child, His instrument (think violin), His friend.
it seems as though, at some point, i climbed up onto a high-horse and started prancing around my made-up arena with spiritual insights and profundities. that’s not to say none of this is inspired or true; rather, i’ve lost sight of who i am and what i’m doing here. and maybe this is the root of my real-life head problems—i think too much; i never just BE. and come to think of it, i think i said something about that in my very first post…or i meant to.
digressing again. 6_6
so the point. because i did have one…*rummages* who i am and what i’m doing here. right.
sometimes it clarifies a thing to focus on the inverse of it. so let’s start with who i’m not and see where it takes us.
i’m not always right.
i’m not a guru—of any kind.
i’m not responsible for the salvation of the world.
i’m not really all that profound, by myself. it’s really the God-factor that brings that to the table.
i’m not put together or composed or even all that dignified.
what i AM is a mess. all the time, actually. and it’s silly, really, to try to keep this blog ‘clean’ and ‘presentable’. this was supposed to be a place for me to BE. period. not a place for me to just be _________. [profound, spiritual, insightful, etc]
pride has a nasty way of cramming you into boxes. little ones. cramped ones.
i’ve done it before and now i’m doing it again—i’m letting myself out of all my self-imposed boxes (and a few that were not self-imposed). you know, i do this regularly enough, i should celebrate it annually. :P
so here i am. this is me stepping out of the box. i won’t always be profound. but may i always be authentic. and most importantly, may i always glorify my God. because, after all, i am His. i’ll take that over being profound every. time.
to be continued…