I Have No Idea What God Is Doing.

I have no idea how long we’ll be unemployed.

I have no idea if we’ll end up in a house of our own or renting again.

I have no idea why I’m constantly so tired, sleeping terribly, and feeling physically miserable in spite of improved eating and almost daily exercise.

I have no idea why a certain friend suddenly stopped communicating with me.

I have no idea how God intends to use me at our new church.

I have no idea how happy or miserable my marriage will be in five years—or even next month.

I have no idea how much I’ll like having a poodle or if I’ll even get to have one.

I don’t know what God is doing in each of these areas of my life.

There, I said it.

I don’t know.

So dear brain, please give up trying to figure it out. Stop chewing on every possible angle; stop creating what-if scenarios; stop presuming upon God; stop thinking you can see how it’s all coming together.

Because you can’t.

And today, I decided I don’t want to.

Today, the sun is out. The air is literally the perfect temperature. The kids are healthy and safe, Bear is in love with me and I’m in love with him, I have stunningly precious friends, there’s plenty of good food in the house, lots to entertain or exercise with—in short, it’s a good day.

So today is enough. I don’t need to think about tomorrow. I have chosen to be happy with right now. 

(Sometimes I just have to put it out there and hope my brain reads my blog.)